This Strange Reality

I received a call this week that was exciting. After the call was done, I thought about how strange it was to be excited about it. The call was from the Make a Wish organization telling me that Hudson's Disney wish was granted and in the works.

Three years ago, I never could have possibly dreamed that I'd have a child who would qualify for a Make a Wish trip, or that I'd be excited about it! But this is our reality, a strange reality, and even more oddly, seems that it has always been so. Much like it's hard to imagine life without your kids, I can't really remember life how it was before tubes, feeding pumps, syringes, medicines 3 times a day, multiple surgeries, hospital stays, therapy every week, doctor appointments ALL the time...I forget that this isn't a part of everyone's normal, but it feels now as if it has always been ours. My 2 other children, ages 8 and 5, can vent a G-button, administer meds through a tube, can troubleshoot a feeding pump, help with a tube change, and know some sign language. What, this isn't everyone's normal??

I feel our new reality has made us stronger as a couple, as a family, and as individuals. It's so cliche, but the little stuff really doesn't matter anymore, and yet it matters most of all. Something small ruins your day, who cares, don't let it...small stuff. Hudson gave me a hug for the first time today, small stuff...but I'll never forget it.

This new reality may not be what I ever thought I'd be living, and a Make a Wish trip may not be the vacation I ever thought we'd be taking, but I have to choose to see the positive in this life. There is so much beauty in the small things if you choose to see it. Pumps and tubes and syringes and meds may continue while on the trip, but at least we'll be doing it all in a really fun place!

That's seeing the beauty.